I had another dentist appointment today. They took more impressions of my mouth. It was the last one before the big surgery though.
For the first impression, about a month ago, the dental assistant assured me he was quick and it would be painless but strange and maybe a little messy. He didn't cover everything with that description. He started mixing and pouring and measuring out different powders and liquids, like an alchemist on speed, until he came up with a baby blue goo that looked like melted Laughy Taffy, spread it on to a dental tray and shoved it in my mouth. Luckily for me they had ordered the quick drying sea-weed derived variety of blue goo that week. The sensation is hard to describe but not too unpleasant. Really the taffy analogy may be the closest. Imagine eight or nine squares of taffy chewed up to that smooth consistency and pasted against your teeth on a dental retainer like tray until it hardened again and then yanked off with all of its suction-y prowess. Now imagine that four times in a row. He didn't account for my high palate the first time and had to take the lower impression too. Then try and imagine my bearded mouth coated with hardened blue taffy goo all up in my hairy business. I was given a wet paper towel and a handheld mirror to try and get it all. A tedious process you might have noticed in all that imagining I just made you do.
The second impression visit was last week and the worst of the three. Done this time by the dentist with a tad bit more finesse and care than the assistant had shown. The goo this trip was purple and it seemed like it was twice the amount of taffy. When it was shoved against my upper teeth the goo oozed down my throat coating my uvula (hangy down "punching bag" thing in the back of the throat that makes you gag. Yeah.) before I could block off the goo's pathway with my tongue and only after it was in place was I told that this was not the convenient "quick-dry" stuff but the "FOUR MINUTES to harden" stuff! I just concentrated on a cheesy musak song rationalizing that pop songs usually last about three and a half minutes and I need only get through a verse-chorus-verse-chorus-chorus chain of simple melodies. It worked. There was less mess but when it was yanked out it left a horribly, minty, and numbing quality all over my mouth. (I don't know what my lunch tasted like that day.)
Today was easy. Today six trays were put in my mouth with a very minimal amount of pinkish purple goo and it measured my bite. Quick, no side effects and no mess. Yes!
Hopefully by January we will be able to put some money down on this crazy expensive endeavor and I can get some new teeth for the new year. Uh, Christmas present ideas?...buy the gift of love; gimme cash for teeth.
Now for the gruesome. I figured I should have before and after pictures as to document this properly. 
Here is a before smile for later comparison.
