Smiles for miles

I set a date the other day with my dentist's office. March 22nd. I have been thinking about this event for a long time now and still fear that it may never come. Why am I so inclined to prepare for the worst? I haven't had a terrible life. With a family who loves me and shows it, a supportive best friend and wife and an overall appreciation for all I have, you would think I would believe I deserve this. I guess I do. I want a happy, pain-free and healthy mouth but for some reason I can't shake the feeling that I can't reach what I deserve.
Anything good in my life has been born of luck/circumstance. (My beautiful smarty-pants son, random wind-falls, a stable and loving childhood, easy ways out of potentially bad situations, etc.) This may be the explanation for my laziness. Some call it procrastination but I can't hide behind that ruse. I have never really had "follow through" on anything in my life. I'm always reading 5 books at once and fail to finish any of them. I have great ideas that may solve social problems or change minds to a more open point of view yet do nothing about it. I feel as though something akin to karma will bring some good to me sooner or later. (It more often than not does) I do well by those I care about as well as those that may wish me harm. This is a conscious decision but is it enough of a proactive approach to living? Probably not.
That is why I am slowly shifting my view of how my life should be led. Education and health are currently my biggest concerns and I feel I am making positive choices that will lead to a happier me. Now I just need to figure out what I truly deserve and have a little dessert/reward with this pretty good feast/life of mine. (Maybe I'll have something with nuts on top after I get my new teeth!)